3 bulan

Daddy got 3 minutes to update before Ammad masuk meeting.

Rizq turns 3 months yesterday. Berat 6.5 kilogram.

2 minggu lepas dah mula pandai sebek. Sekarang ni, tiap-tiap malam Rizq akan ajak sembang. Macam2 lah luahan hati dan perasaan diungkapkan dalam sesi sembangan Rizq.

Tapi alhamdulillah, bawak ke mana-mana Rizq akan tidur. Kalau orang approach pun Rizq buat lek lek ja.

Dah bawa Rizq pergi ceramah kat Dewan Budaya, pertandingan debat kat Padang Kota, kem Matematik kat SMK Labu Besar, dan beberapa kenduri dan Rizq tidur-tidur sahaja sepanjang event berlaku. Alhamdulillah.

Thank you for living up to your name, my dear Rizq.

Tapi, muka sentiasa serius kalau ambil gambar dengan mommy dan daddy.

Rizq ajak sembang

It’s 12.59am. Sebenarnya nak kena siapkan kerja ni. Tapi distract jap dengan menulis blog.

Which really reminds me my days back in Durham. Selalu dulu pun tulis blog sebab stress kerja yang tak siap. Jadi tulis blog. Atau buat video. Usually distractions are sweeter than reality. So tido lewat lagilah malam ni.

Works never end, but we establish that already. But it always a good pause whenever I go back to my in laws’ to see my wife and my little baby.

Weekend hari tu aku balik Kelantan. Malam first memang aku tak larat nak jaga sebab penat sangat. So Tiqah jaga macam biasa la. Malam last tu Rizq merengek macam biasa. Tiqah dah tido. So aku bagi susu, habis dah 2 ounce. Lepas tu dia merengek lagi. Aku tukar lampin sebab dah berat. Nasib tak menangis. Lepas tu aku letak elok-elok nak suruh dia tido. Aku sumbat puting. Dia luah. Lepas tu dia pusing kepala dia tengok aku dengan mata terbuka luas. Mulut dia dok menguit-nguit tapi tak nangis. Selalu kalau nangis tu maksudnya nak susu.

Ni rupanya dia ajak bersembang! Aku pusing kepala dia bagi baring elok. Dia still taknak. Pusing dan menguit-nguit lagi la mulut dia. Pukul 3 pagi nak ajak bersembang rupanya.

So aku pun melayan la dia sembang walaupun takdak bunyi pun keluar dari mulut dia. Mak Machang kata dia selalu jaga time tu sebab ikut time Jerman. Which is true sebab 3am Malaysian time is like 8pm over there.

Oh yea, dia memang selalu mula nak lelap bila dekat pukul 6-7 pagi which is like 11 – 12pm over there. But baby-baby orang kata memang suka jaga time tu. Maybe kalau bawa diorang travel Europe, then diorang dapat tido on time la kan sebab jet lag?

Back to that night, selepas beberapa lama, dia masih lagi dok bersembang-sembang dengan aku menceritakan harinya yang penuh dengan aktiviti tidur, menyusu dan berak, or the lack of it; aku yang akhirnya tertido sebab tak tahan dah.

Yang aku perasan, dia menangis, agaknya sebab aku tak dengar luahan hati dia, jadi Tiqah pun take over.

Esok tu sebelum nak balik, terpaksa nasihat kat dia jangan jaga lewat-lewat sebab kesian mommy nak kena berjaga malam-malam. Time aku cakap tu, dia tidur, ataupun pura-pura tidur sebab masih nak berjaga malam.

Tired mind cause chaos

So aku rename this blog to Diari Daddy Rizq. I kinda like the nice ring to it. Plus, I suppose while others love to post pictures about their kids, I wanna write, and I am not posting picture to tell how cute I find my baby is and that yada yada, or perhaps I would because he’s so mushy mushy at the moment.

But how about what a daddy actually thinking. At least one daddy, which is me, which cannot represent the entire daddy population especially coz I am the more sensitive one in my marriage, but hey it’s 2019, and guys being sensitive is not that odd anymore; but daddy wants Rizq to be less sensitive, so let’s see how it goes.

Enough of that prelude. Here comes the things that’s going in my mind.

Busy. That’s my middle name. Aku pun tak tahu ke-busy-an apakah yang melanda. I mean, partly sebab hari tu aku ambil cuti 2 minggu. Dan adat kerja aku ni, kalau 2 minggu cuti, maksudnya kerja itu dilonggok sebanyak 2 minggu yang tak siap-siap lagi.

Dan sekarang Rizq dengan mommy masih tak pulang ke Penang. Jadi jadual aku lagi tak menentu. There’s one day that I started my meeting at 9am and I had to work after dinner and stay up until 2am. Lepas tu takleh tido menyebabkan aku tido pukul 5 pagi. That was those days where I cannot avoid having to finish my work.

Terus aku terfikir, kan dalam drama-drama kehidupan yang kita biasa dengar, anak tak cukup kasih sayang sebab ayah sibuk bekerja; am I becoming that? Will I be that kind of parent that I never ever thought in my life, I may becoming?

Ayah-ayah yang bila anak datang nak berbual, bagitau anak untuk stay away sebab dia penat. Which is true. The tired part. I was actually tired when I have those kind of day. Itu tak masuk lagi dengan drama-drama yang berlaku dalam kehidupan seharian yang buatkan hari tertentu rasa lagi lousy.

I love doing what I have to do. Even if it means that I have to stay up until 1 or 2 am. But this drama thingy gives me another perspective as I am writing this.

Many times in life, I have to face people who I am conflicted with. When I was younger, I always try to solve the conflict. Maybe it’s time to just walking away from people who is not trying to make amends. At least for a while. Definitely when I am hungry.

I remember these recent few days, having meals on my own is kinda refreshing. Just to make me be a bit calm about my daily routine. Rutin yang membuatkan aku kadang-kadang nak ke toilet pun tak sempat.

But that’s life, right?

Dear Rizq, son of mine.

Daddy will try his best to make time for you. But if he fail, know that he loves you still.
And daddy is really tired these days, and sometimes; tired mind cause chaos. Tired body helps you to sleep. Oh, daddy tak pergi gym hari ni; that’s why.

#diari3

Diari Daddy Rizq #2

Rizq dah sebulan. Sekarang ni internet takdak kat tempat kerja, so sementara nak tunggu internet on balik, aku decide untuk tulis blog.

It’s really good to know that Kelantan tak berjerebu sangat. I guess, especially after being a parent, I emphatize much more towards my own parents. Aku teringat malam hari tu waktu aku balik Kelantan, ada nyamuk dok terbang dalam bilik. I swore I wanted to hunt it down and kill it just to make sure it doesn’t bite my baby. Terus memahami cerita Taken. And of course thinking what my mom and dad did to me too when I was a kid, even up until now.

Mak dok offer untuk bagi duit kalau aku perlukan since banyak benda nak kena persiap since the baby arrive. So far aku try to avoid la. Padahal dah so-called bekerjaya tapi biasalah, jadi menteri pun, duit memang tak akan pernah cukup kan. My point is ~ once you are a baby to your parents; they are gonna take care of you as long as they can.

Dan betul lah, anak memang takleh nak balas jasa mak ayah ni. But I wish Rizq will be healthy, living a healthy life physically and spiritually, lepas tu pergi lah mana nak pergi. But perhaps his mom will have different opinion…. 😊

 

#diaridaddyrizq

Diary Daddy Rizq

He is supposed to be born tomorrow on the 5th, tapi hari tu ada komplikasi sikit. Breech yakni songsang and few more issues, so doktor advice untuk C-Sect. Maka 18hb Ogos, lahirlah anak aku yang dinamakan Rizq.

I was joking to Atiqah. I said, sunat bagi nama hari ke 7 tu because by that time, people stop caring about you name the baby. I made my son name short as my name is long enough. So, yep, just Rizq. That’s it.

Being a dad is surreal. It was a great experience albeit a hectic two weeks paternity leave. Aku minta cuti tambahan. Memang 7 hari dah dapat automatik bila Tiqah bersalin. It was good that I took longer leave sebab C-Sect ni, kena cucuk Heparin every 12 hours. So routine first 10 days ialah bawah Tiqah ke klinik dan hospital pagi dan malam untuk cucuk. Baby pun kena bawa hampir setiap hari sebab kuning.

It’s way easier taking care of my nephews and niece. Now, being a parent, I have to worry about his well being. Tak cukup menyusu, tak cukup berak. Rizq masuk wad 2 kali sebab kuning yang turun naik. Semalam kena cucuk banyak sikit sebab kena hantar sampel ke Hospital Kubang Kerian. I’m back in Penang therefore I can only pray that he is going to be okay, be well and grow up healthy.

I tried to be a helfpul dad when I was back in Kelantan. Tiqah need to do more as to naturally feed him and also to be recovered from the operation. It was seriously tiring, which I am sure Tiqah felt more; but yet I do feel grateful through all of this. Seeing Rizq doing okay, walaupun kepala lembik-lembik gerak kiri kanan,  gave me a huge joy I can’t describe. Semalam Tiqah hantar gambar Rizq lepas kena cucuk. I felt so sad, nasib baik tak nangis ja dalam office.

I am thankful that people around me are being very supportive. I hope you guys can also send a prayer for his health, supaya kuningnya berkurang dan tak ada sebarang komplikasi yang tak diingini.

17 hari dah dia hari ni.

#diaridaddyRizq

My List of Video Raya

2019

So tahun ni aku dapat peluang  untuk buat video raya bersama dengan family. Lama gak teringin nak buat video dengan mak abah dan adik beradik yang lain. Maka bila kitorang buat trip ke Cameron Highland time bulan posa, dapatlah peluang.

Lengkap seluruh family aku.

Ands now back in…

2008

Tahun pertama aku sambut raya di Durham. Disebabkan tak balik raya dan kengkawan time tu setuju nak buat, maka jadilah first video raya yg aku adjust lirik berkonsepkan perantauan.

Contohnya bab pakai baju raya tahun lepas, takde bazaar ramadhan cam kat Malaysia dan pos kuih raya. Aku takdelah suruh mak aku pos raya tapi kawan2 Brunei memang family diorang pos, jadi dapatlah turut merasa.

Tiqah tanya, kenapa aku sorang je lelaki. Errr…..

 

2010

Tahun 2009 aku balik raya rasanya, tu sebab takde video raya. 2010 tak balik, so semangat nak buat meskipun time ni takde geng. Serius, memang time ni agak kesunyian gak lah. Rosmin dah balik Malaysia time tu dan baru jer nak kenal2 ngan Hafidz. Tapi nak buat gak, so aku buat konsep multi bahasa lah.

So rakam video ni pun guna tripod je depan pintu dalam bilik. Aku beraya dengan komuniti Malaysia time tu.

 

2011

Lepas tu dapat balik geng baru dan tahun tu, decide untuk buat lagi versi perantauan. Kak Zarina pulak semangat nak join, so aku pun seronok sebab boleh buat scene family. Walhal, rumah tu sebenarnya rumah sewa aku. Memang rumah sewa paling best aku pernah sewa kat UK sebab lawa dan tengah town.

Nak dijadikan crita pulak MHI buat pertandingan video raya so kitorang submit dan menang, jadi dapatlah duit dan kitorang gi makan Nandos halal kat Newcastle ramai2. Teruja sebab Elly Iskandar call untuk set masa temuramah. Pastu kena interview dengan Abby.

 

2018

Tahun 2012 dah balik Malaysia maka ketupat rendang dan kuih muih di tanah air buat aku berat punggung nak buat video. Maka bila bersabatikal di Jerman dan bebudak Darmstadt suka gak video-video ni, terus menjadilah.

Diorang yang start dulu sebab kena approach rancangan Bubur Lambuk International so kitorang shoot la di suatu petang di bulan Ramadhan.

https://web.facebook.com/amrisolarstreak/videos/10155721423078214/?v=10155721423078214

 

 

Then, aku propose untuk buat video raya. Video ni hari tu awal bulan puasa dalam 1000 lebih je kat IG. By raya tahun ni dah naik 4000 views.

Tahun ni baru orang tgk rupanya.

 

 

So that’s it.

Best gak abadikan kenangan bersama sahabat2 dan ahli keluarga dalam video raya ni.